Resolve

I've always found the concept of New Year's Resolutions to be kind of silly. Without the right attitude and conviction, you're no different on January 1 than you are December 31. It takes 6 weeks of truly committed effort to make a new routine habit. Which I think explains why new workout, eating, and healthy habit regimens don't make it past January 31. I say, if you really feel like the motivation will be with you to stick to your resolution, then you should take January as a time to start wrapping your head around your goal, decide if you really can commit to it, and plan what steps to take. If healthy eating is your resolution, why not use January to start testing out healthy recipes, and reading up on what healthy eating really is? Try a whole day of tracking what you eat on a website like fitday.com, and get an idea of how many calories you eat now.

I think that in most cases it's not that people lack the ability to accomplish their goals; it's that they lack the proper information and motivation. I think that if people take the time to sit with their feelings, they'll either find the real motivation, or discover that the work required to meet the goal exceeds their dedication to achieving it. Surprisingly, I don't necessarily find that lazy. I think it is far better to recognize what you are and aren't willing to do to meet a goal before starting than to suddenly realize it part of the way through and give up.

The reason I choose to write about resolutions and resolve today, the time of year most infamous for such things is because I find myself re-gaining motivation for following a healthy lifestyle. The itch to get back to my healthy habits has been gaining strength for a few months, but the engagement has really fed the fire. I don't want to try on wedding dresses and wish I were 15 pounds lighter, or my stomach a few inches flatter when I could make that a reality. I have confidence in my ability to make this happen - I did it before, I can do it again. I remember how good it felt to step on the scale each week and see another pound gone. I'd like to have that again. The difference this time is that it's going to be harder, since I'm not as heavy. The closer the body gets to its ideal weight, the more it hangs on to its fat reserves. I'm not looking for miracles; just another dress size. 15 pounds before Spring 2009. That's even too realistic; If I lose a pound a month, I'll be close to my goal weight by this time next year.

I'm particularly proud of the fact that I've managed to maintain, within 5 pounds, the weight loss I worked so hard for last year. It further cements not only my resolve to accomplish my goal, but also the confidence that I can.

I'm going to try to post on my blog more regularly next year, because I'm not on eDiets any more. Posting on the discussion boards was a really helpful way for me to vent about frustrations and celebrate successes. Hopefully, it won't bore anyone who stumbles on it too badly, and you'll leave some feedback for me.

A Happy 2008 to us all!

2007 - Year (and proposal!) in Review

Well, here we are, once again, at the end of another year. Last year didn't warrant the year in review, but this year certainly does. Alot has happened in only 12 months!

January - the financial counselor I worked with gave me wind that my company's contract wasn't being renewed, and I was job hunting without any prospects. CAC Singers had gone away with the director's move to Pittsburgh, and we met to try and work out a way to keep going. Unfortunately, it didn't work. I also started back to school in January, taking Intro to Inorganic Chemistry - my first class in 5 years. I managed to get an A, which I thought wasn't possible.

February - the lay-off happened. We were given until April 15, a severance package, and a bonus if we stayed with the company through the end of the contract. So we all started job hunting more seriously, and nothing was looking promising. Matt and I also celebrated our 1 year anniversary. We decided to move in together, see how we did in one space. I also found out that I was going to be an aunt - Lisa was pregnant, and expecting in August, right around their anniversary. I told them I was sure the baby would be born on their 1 year anniversary.

March - job hunting continued, and I started interviewing with CEA for a position with implementation. I wasn't thrilled about the idea of travelling all of the time, but the idea of living on 3 months of severance and praying for work was far more frightening.

April - Matt and I moved in together, and I started travelling for CEA filling in for a team leader in Fredericksburg, VA. I loved the job itself, but the travel was really hard. Matt treated every week I left as a big event, and that just compounded the feelings of loneliness I had. Having just moved in together didn't make leaving any easier. Beatrice started acting up - biting, getting easily agitated.

May - another month of travel. I started hating the travel more, and was really happy to have an interview with the Cleveland Clinic in cancer research. The woman I interviewed with was young and energetic, seemed easy to work with. Luckily for me, I was offered the job a little over a week after my interview, and I put in my 2 weeks with CEA and got my severance. I also hit my weight-loss plateau of 25 pounds lost, and while I was still trying to lose, it wasn't long before I decided to maintain.

June - First of the month was my last day with CEA; I flew home from Dulles and never went back. I started with the Cleveland Clinic June 11. For the first few months, it was hard to describe what I do, because I didn't know much about it. Now I can say that I work on the paperwork side of research - forms for the government, and pharmaceutical companies, writing informed consents.

July - Matt started talking about us getting engaged before the end of the year, and ring shopping in August. I was so excited I could hardly contain myself! I kept working to adjust to and learn my new job, still missing the old.

August - It was all I could do to not run out to a jeweler on the first and start looking at engagement rings. With my 25 pound weight loss, I tried on my class ring from high school to see if I was still the same size, and found the ring was huge. When I got my finger sized, I'd gone from a 7.5 to a 5.5. (while I'd tried it on several months earlier, it's also notable that my prom dress fits again!) Genevieve Edith, my beautiful niece, was born on August 26 - Robert and Lisa's 1 year wedding anniversary. I got to hold her when she was only an hour old. She had the sweetest face, all wrinkly and red.

September - All of the Brown girls drove down to Cincinnati to welcome another member of the family - my cousin Robyn was expecting a little girl. Genevieve did great on her first car trip, and it was so much fun to get to spend the day with her.

October - Martha's wedding. The bridesmaid dress, while beautiful, cost quite a bit because the company screwed up and sent a dress far too big. My tailor did a great job, and I looked beautiful for my friend's big day. Martha looked amazing - her dress was elegant and simple, yet with beautiful detail. She looked alot like Princess Di. It touched my heart to see my good friend so happy.

November - the pressure was on from Mom and Dad about Matt and I getting married. No proposal yet, and my parents weren't the only ones getting antsy. It was hard for me, because I understood both my parents' position as well as Matt's. Mom and Dad were afraid Matt was getting the cow for free with our co-habitation, and Matt realized time had gotten away from him and started his search for the perfect engagement ring. Matt's grandma died right before Thanksgiving, and so we had her funeral to attend. While sad that she died, I found it sadder that funerals seem to be the only time that Matt's father's side of the family got together. They're good people, and I'd like the chance to see them more often.

December - I had a little pre-engagement meltdown. The year's end neared, and I thought for sure my wedding bells would have started pealing sooner. We talked, and while I hated feeling like the nagging girlfriend, Matt was great about it - he understood where I was coming from - that 6 months of engagement blueballs was just too much for me to take. He promised the ring was worth waiting for, but that it might not be ready by the year's end. I felt better having had the chance to vent and be understood and not judged. I had my biochem final, and got a B in the class - which was disappointing, because I was only a few points away from an A. With finals over, it was time for Matt's birthday. We'd both taken the day off, and after a relaxing day, I went to finish the grocery shopping in the afternoon. After 30 minutes of fighting the silver haired crowd at the deli counter, I managed to make it home. As I reached the apartment door, my cell phone started to ring. Fighting with my keys and cussing, I got the door open...and there was Matt, standing in the doorway, surrounded by tealights. He told me not to answer the phone, took my purse and groceries as I removed my coat and stood in front of him. He said to me, "I don't want to get another year older without you in my life. Will you marry me?" I cried a few happy tears, and said yes to the sweet man on one knee before me, an the beautiful ring he offered. We'll be married in 2009.

It's been a terribly busy year, and I look forward to so much to come in 2008. Planning my wedding and marriage to Matt, continuing my education toward becoming a physician assistant, and Matt starting school full time.