Work, Work, Work
If you look back my post "The Unabridged Version" from early April, you'll be reminded of a conversation I had with my boss Steve about where my career is headed with my current company. Well, Kim, my other boss who also reports to Steve, is FINALLY leaving our district, and I've applied for her position. My interview with Steve is Thursday afternoon. Wish me luck. I'm really hoping that I'm not just being interviewed because I meet the qualifications and they have to. As I've mentioned, I have a strong hunch they've already decided to offer the job to one of my equally qualified co-workers.
Kim just kills me, though. I've felt for the past few months that she's been trying to pigeon-hole me to make me appear that I'm not the best candidate for her job because she prefers someone else. I've gotten about 2 nit-picky emails a month since June, when she formally announced her move. Before that, I didn't get any. And it's always for stuff that I did for a reason that she happens to disagree with, or it's a policy I never knew was in effect. She doesn't like my method of accomplishing tasks; the thing that bugs me about that is regardless of how I do it, what I do is not unethical, AND, it gets the job done efficiently. I mean, Christ, she bitched at me in the office one day because she disagreed with the way I FILED. I filed everything where it were supposed to go, I just happened to go about it in a way that she wouldn't have. Drives me absolutely up the wall. I got another one of her nit-picky emails today. We have someone who does my job at 4 different hospitals on the weekend - 2 hospitals a day. Like most of the rest of us. They absolutely baby her because she's the only one in the office who works weekends. Which would be fine, except that's the schedule she was hired for. She knew what she was in for before she agreed to the position. Well, Friday, I happened to have 2 patients who weren't in their rooms, and so I couldn't see them. I sent the weekender a heads-up about the accounts, and asked her to follow-up, thanks very much. She forwarded my message to Kim, who promptly messaged me that this was an inappropriate use of the weekender's time, we're only to leave accounts for her when the patient is comatose or intubated and we can't get ahold of family. Ok, fine, I'm bothered that this is something she chooses to message me and copy Steve about, but whatever. I won't do it again. The thing that I was most offended by was that she accused me of leaving these patients AND leaving early. BULLSHIT. I'm tired of being constantly questioned about my work habits when there is no call to do so. I can't win. I have a light day, and send my stuff into the office too late, "what have you been doing all day? that couldn't have taken you 6 hours." I send it in too early "you have no business leaving that early." Who said I left? I stayed and worked on paperwork to turn into the office, which I did this morning. I called the other hospitals to see if anyone was swamped, got the all clear, and did my own shit. Well, I sent a politically correct and succinct email to Ms. Kim and copied Steve on it explaining why I left them for Katrina (there's more to it than the fact that the patients weren't around), that I'll "refrain" from doing it again, and what I did after I sent in my stuff to the office. I didn't get a reply. I'm hopeful that I shut her up on the topic.
I've got my eye on the prize and on the light at the end of the tunnel. Kim's official last day in my district is 9/29/06. I think I might get together with the other girls and throw a big ol' party, whether I get the job or not.
I'm nervous about my interview, though. I've never actually had a real chance at a promotion. If it's just Steve I'm interviewing with, I'll be fine. I keep my head very easily around him because he's a generally easy-going guy. I'm sure I'll be asked some tough questions, but I've already got an idea about what they'll be. What I'm afraid I'll be flustered by is if Kim is in on the interview. She's so hypercritical of my work that I'm afraid it'll turn into "uh, uh, uh" lady when she starts her interrogation. I'd ask Steve if she'll be included, but I'm afraid that asking makes me sound like I'm intimidated by her, or that I'm not confident in my qualifications for the job. I certainly don't want Steve to know I'm intimidated. Kim has the same sort of attitude that my Mom always had about me when I was a kid. I never do anything right, she's never in a good mood, and I'm not good enough. So even though I've grown more of a spine (with Matt's help) on the outside, inside when Kim gets like that, I revert to the scared 14 year old who is more afraid of her mother than she is of God. ("God will always love me, my mother may not.") I am proud of the growth I've made where Kim is concerned. At first, when Kim would send me these crummy emails, I wouldn't respond at all. I'd just feel offended, but too afraid to say anything in my own defense. These days, I'm going to support my decisions, because I think I'm right. And if she copied Steve on something she sent me, I copy Steve on my reply. I'm very careful to avoid any wording which could in anyway be construed as insubordinate; I always make sure I state that I will comply with her instructions. I avoid words like "I'm sorry" and anything that sounds apologetic. I'm not sorry; I did what I thought was right. I'll change my action to go along with your instructions in the future.
Ok, I've gone on and on, and I doubt anyone is actually still reading all of this. I'm passionate about my work, because I'm lucky enough to enjoy it (everything but Kim). I love what my company does, because I feel that it's a very important service we offer the community. But I hate that she makes me feel like I should just cancel my interview for the promotion because with her constant finger-pointing I'll never get it. I might, and I deserve it. I've done every aspect of the work we do in our district except for Steve's job. I've done claim follow-up, big hunks of Kim's job, and claims processing. I know how it all works. I am compassionate to our patients, and committed to helping everyone I can. I eager and willing to be where I am most needed, and I am always the first to offer assistance to the other hospitals. And that's why I'm the best candidate for this job.
Dammit.
Kim just kills me, though. I've felt for the past few months that she's been trying to pigeon-hole me to make me appear that I'm not the best candidate for her job because she prefers someone else. I've gotten about 2 nit-picky emails a month since June, when she formally announced her move. Before that, I didn't get any. And it's always for stuff that I did for a reason that she happens to disagree with, or it's a policy I never knew was in effect. She doesn't like my method of accomplishing tasks; the thing that bugs me about that is regardless of how I do it, what I do is not unethical, AND, it gets the job done efficiently. I mean, Christ, she bitched at me in the office one day because she disagreed with the way I FILED. I filed everything where it were supposed to go, I just happened to go about it in a way that she wouldn't have. Drives me absolutely up the wall. I got another one of her nit-picky emails today. We have someone who does my job at 4 different hospitals on the weekend - 2 hospitals a day. Like most of the rest of us. They absolutely baby her because she's the only one in the office who works weekends. Which would be fine, except that's the schedule she was hired for. She knew what she was in for before she agreed to the position. Well, Friday, I happened to have 2 patients who weren't in their rooms, and so I couldn't see them. I sent the weekender a heads-up about the accounts, and asked her to follow-up, thanks very much. She forwarded my message to Kim, who promptly messaged me that this was an inappropriate use of the weekender's time, we're only to leave accounts for her when the patient is comatose or intubated and we can't get ahold of family. Ok, fine, I'm bothered that this is something she chooses to message me and copy Steve about, but whatever. I won't do it again. The thing that I was most offended by was that she accused me of leaving these patients AND leaving early. BULLSHIT. I'm tired of being constantly questioned about my work habits when there is no call to do so. I can't win. I have a light day, and send my stuff into the office too late, "what have you been doing all day? that couldn't have taken you 6 hours." I send it in too early "you have no business leaving that early." Who said I left? I stayed and worked on paperwork to turn into the office, which I did this morning. I called the other hospitals to see if anyone was swamped, got the all clear, and did my own shit. Well, I sent a politically correct and succinct email to Ms. Kim and copied Steve on it explaining why I left them for Katrina (there's more to it than the fact that the patients weren't around), that I'll "refrain" from doing it again, and what I did after I sent in my stuff to the office. I didn't get a reply. I'm hopeful that I shut her up on the topic.
I've got my eye on the prize and on the light at the end of the tunnel. Kim's official last day in my district is 9/29/06. I think I might get together with the other girls and throw a big ol' party, whether I get the job or not.
I'm nervous about my interview, though. I've never actually had a real chance at a promotion. If it's just Steve I'm interviewing with, I'll be fine. I keep my head very easily around him because he's a generally easy-going guy. I'm sure I'll be asked some tough questions, but I've already got an idea about what they'll be. What I'm afraid I'll be flustered by is if Kim is in on the interview. She's so hypercritical of my work that I'm afraid it'll turn into "uh, uh, uh" lady when she starts her interrogation. I'd ask Steve if she'll be included, but I'm afraid that asking makes me sound like I'm intimidated by her, or that I'm not confident in my qualifications for the job. I certainly don't want Steve to know I'm intimidated. Kim has the same sort of attitude that my Mom always had about me when I was a kid. I never do anything right, she's never in a good mood, and I'm not good enough. So even though I've grown more of a spine (with Matt's help) on the outside, inside when Kim gets like that, I revert to the scared 14 year old who is more afraid of her mother than she is of God. ("God will always love me, my mother may not.") I am proud of the growth I've made where Kim is concerned. At first, when Kim would send me these crummy emails, I wouldn't respond at all. I'd just feel offended, but too afraid to say anything in my own defense. These days, I'm going to support my decisions, because I think I'm right. And if she copied Steve on something she sent me, I copy Steve on my reply. I'm very careful to avoid any wording which could in anyway be construed as insubordinate; I always make sure I state that I will comply with her instructions. I avoid words like "I'm sorry" and anything that sounds apologetic. I'm not sorry; I did what I thought was right. I'll change my action to go along with your instructions in the future.
Ok, I've gone on and on, and I doubt anyone is actually still reading all of this. I'm passionate about my work, because I'm lucky enough to enjoy it (everything but Kim). I love what my company does, because I feel that it's a very important service we offer the community. But I hate that she makes me feel like I should just cancel my interview for the promotion because with her constant finger-pointing I'll never get it. I might, and I deserve it. I've done every aspect of the work we do in our district except for Steve's job. I've done claim follow-up, big hunks of Kim's job, and claims processing. I know how it all works. I am compassionate to our patients, and committed to helping everyone I can. I eager and willing to be where I am most needed, and I am always the first to offer assistance to the other hospitals. And that's why I'm the best candidate for this job.
Dammit.
posted by Becki | 5:33 PM
1 Comments:
I feel ya, hon. I hope you kicked some ass last Thursday, and please let me know what happens, no matter which way it goes.
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